Don’t Panic And Speak Up: My Story With Depression
Depression is probably the hardest word to describe. My story with depression would be different than someone else’s and the pain might differ as well. Hundreds of symptoms can be listed that can be seen in a person going through depression but what he or she might actually feel cannot be put into words. Throughout the years, I stumbled upon many teenagers who were going through depression and I soon realized that a random motivating talk cannot end it
I don’t know if you have been into depression ever, well I hope you haven’t, I will just talk about my story with depression to simply give you an idea which you may or may not relate to in the future. Being honest, I would like to mention, what I went through was nothing compared to what I have seen people going through. My surroundings, upbringing, and thinking pattern all contributed to helping me to overcome this dark state in a couple of months, for which I shall always remain grateful.
Depression: One Of A Kind
Once, I was among them who hadn’t ever had the taste of depression. Some of my friends talked about their experiences and I really thought, maybe they were exaggerating. After all, the person is fit and fine from above then what is the point of being obsessively sad about something that has gone?
Little did I knew that time, that you cannot really understand depression until you have it yourself. Now I think about those people who remained depressed for years and still made it. Depression is really one of a kind, it might be different for you and different for me. The depth of depression matters which cannot be measured overtly. The one lesson I learned was, “Never assume anything about the depressed person”.
What really Happened In Those Dark Days
Those days clearly showed me the role of cognition in our overall life. It showed me that whatever we have, happiness, sadness, motivation, and so on, comes from within. Without your thoughts and feelings being in the right place, the whole world will seem to be collapsing, no matter how beautiful it looks from outside.
You may be smiling but deep down you are not well, you are feeling an uneasy emotion or like carrying a burden. Losing sleep and appetite are the most basic features of being depressed. You must have heard the quote
“Each day you are born”
Well, in this case, you feel exactly the opposite, as if each day you feel more dead. In my case, a certain incident that caused the depression in the first place came back to me and in fact roamed in my mind. It kept my perspective very negative and everything was quite broken. If you have been there, you know how it feels but if you haven’t, well you don’t want to feel it.
My Story With Depression: Did Internet Help?
Yes and no. The one advantage I got was that, when I sought the internet, I came to learn about so many people who had gone through the same incident like me, only it was far worse in their case than mine. I got a feeling of,
“I am not alone”.
Thanks to the internet, you will find articles, videos, and lectures from every possible perspective. The positive perspective helped me and a motivational speaker whom I follow proved to be an angel in that situation. His speeches would actually put some logic into my brain and took me away from that feeling of numbness. However, after a while, the sad feelings would come down again like some flashbacks. The ultimate truth I realized was, “No one can help you unless you help yourself”.
Your Inner Strength Matters
This was probably one of the major strengths of mine. Your inner strength actually depends on so many factors that have been with you since your birth. For starters, there is self-esteem, how you see your worth. It’s good to criticize yourself but only up to a limit, how much do you love yourself, and much more.
In my case, my self-esteem has been great. I wasn’t arrogant but I exactly knew my worth. I knew I was being unfair by looking at everything from a negative perspective. There was so much positive in whatever had happened but that’s what the problem is, you just don’t want to see it when you are depressed and that’s human nature.
Soon, I came to realize that it’s time to love myself. I was done feeling pathetic for someone else’s actions and I had to realize that I didn’t need anyone to depend on. There is so much more to my life than worrying about a silly thing that didn’t work out in the way I fantasized it to be. That was my greatest strength that helped me to think more logically and less emotionally.
Easy To Understand, Hard To Act
One of the most surprising things about human beings is that, even when we tend to understand everything about a particular concept, we find it hard to act according to it. You don’t need rocket science to understand this. Say, for example when you were a child, you saw the darkness in the corridor outside your room after switching off the lights and felt afraid. You knew ghosts don’t exist and maybe you had all the scientific logic proving ghosts to be nothing but fiction. However, you were still afraid and it was a fight between logic and emotion.
Something similar happens when you are fighting depression or have come across a bad incident in life. At one point I could see the logical point of view with the benefits and lessons that incident had taught me and on the other hand, all this logic seemed to subside when the emotional point of view conquered.
It was quite astonishing for me at first, that when I can clearly justify something logically, how can the emotions just take over and bring all the illogical thoughts back to mind when it doesn’t even make any sense?
Well, that’s why they say, humans are creatures of emotions and it’s very easy to lose the balance between emotion and logic.
Can Depression Ever Be Helpful?
I know most, in fact, all of you will be saying no and I join you in that answer. However, when I think right now, what was the point of those dark days, I do get some good answers. These dark days taught me the value of the most basic things in life that we don’t appreciate. It taught me how precious my normal life is because at that point I was nowhere near normal.
It made me far and far stronger than I would have been if I didn’t go through those days. Don’t worry, I am not going to say that depression is worth the lesson but it did teach me some important lessons. The one constant philosophy that has been right for me was,
“Whatever happens in your life has a purpose behind it”.
When I truly think about the purpose of all the mess, I realize it did have a purpose and made me what I am today. Not that I was very distracted from my life and my career before this incident but after this, I became aware of the meaning of self-love. I could clearly see you don’t need someone else’s opinion to tell you how worthy you are, you don’t need someone’s approval to have a high self-esteem.
Just follow your dreams, focus on your life, be productive, set goals, achieve them, always try to help the ones who need it. When you fulfill those dreams and achieve those goals, they will boost your self-esteem more than any person can ever do.
Considering your mental health is as important as your physical, we have an entire segment dedicated to mental health which you can access from here.
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