Why Do People Change: How To Accept It
People change, and we ask why they do. Being one of the most complicated creatures on the planet, it is not always easy to understand why they change. Well, we seek to know why they change from many perspectives. Some ask from the perspective of a relationship, some ask from the perspective of change with time and so on.
Growing and Evolving
When talking about teenagers, change in their characteristics and behavior is mostly natural. This is what we call evolution and growth. The same thing happens with us too but our observations are based on the people around us mainly.
A point to be noted here is that the younger a person is, the greater will be the changes when he grows up. What I mean is, a 14-year kid will have a lot more changes in him when he reaches the age of twenty, compared to the changes in a man from 50 to 55 years of age as far as natural changes are concerned. The change can be positive as well as negative, but changes do take place.
If people change: Is there a possibility of no change?
Yeah, there is, keep a person in a futuristic hibernation chamber and you might be able to prevent any changes in him. The thing is, everyone experiences life every day and what we see, what we feel everything contributes to any changes in us. Hence, we should always expect people to change and there is nothing we can do about it except controlling ourselves and accepting it.
How to accept it when it hurts?
So, you have to realize now, that you can control yourself and not others. You cannot control their decisions and choices. So, what should we do if someone has changed and we feel hurt? The simplest thing is, to change your perception. You have to tell yourself, what happened was for the best. I will drop an example to explain better.
Among teenagers, nowadays, almost everyone out there is complaining that people leave, they are fake, they are not reliable. However, I wanna put one question, that aren’t you happy that, that person is finally not influencing your life?
Let us be frank and take dating as an example, probably the most common one. Now, usually, the perspective would be “He/she left me for him/her”. This needs to change to “I am glad, he/she no longers controls me or influences my life”
Believe it or not, just like this example, you can draw out a positive perspective in every negative situation in life, including the instances where people have changed and you got hurt. That’s why they say, it’s all in the mind. Of course, there are gonna be situation-specific cases for each individual and things will go hard but you got to remember the basics.
What not to do: Resentment turning into Destruction
We will feel frustrated, irritated, wanting to hate everything because we spent so much energy on a person, even if it was a close friend, and they turned their backs on us. That energy will come out as anger and frustration. We will probably blame the person for changing, which is the first mistake as I have mentioned above. That’s the only thing you need to avoid. However, having so much of self- control and authority over your mind is not a piece of cake. You have to get absolute clarity in what you think, and why you are upset.
What to do: Convert rage into a constructive form
What we must do is, focus on ourselves and be constructive. You can follow anything, a new hobby, or your career but just utilize that energy for your own good and not as frustration. At one point you will be able to say, “Yes I am glad that person taught me a lesson, it improved me”
” Life is a hard nut to crack and every step on the way is a part of your preparation”